Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Financial message that will revolutionize things that have been ready to be revolutionized for a while now

Hi.

Me again.

Maybe you've heard that the church's finances aren't doing so hot this summer.

I've come up with a solution in the last four or five minutes that I think will solve everything. It's called "Metric Tithing" and will revolutionize church giving. It will also revolutionize your finances at home as well.

When people convert from Celsius to Fahrenheit, a way of calculating a rough comparison of the two temperatures is to double the Celsius number and add thirty degrees. Thus 10 degrees Celsius is about the same as 50 degrees Fahrenheit. I'd like to relate that practice to tithing.

Let's just say that 10% of your income is $300.00. Let's call that the Celsius or Canadian tithe. We don't use Celsius here in the U.S.; it's used by Canadians. We use Fahrenheit as the numbers are bigger. We don't drink Canadian beer so we shouldn't use Canadian tithing either. We need to double the tithe figure and add thirty. Now our original figure is a nice $630! That's American tithing!

You might be thinking that it's kind of a lot of money, and might be around two thirds or half of your mortgage. If you're in an apartment, it could be your entire rent payment*. That's basically the beauty of the new tithe; it takes money away from you (and you'll just blow it on doctor bills, groceries, and overpriced living arrangements) and puts it in the hands of the church who will blow it on keeping the air conditioning blowing 7 days a week during the summer. Let's face it, the church needs coffee and coffee beans aren't getting any cheaper if you haven't noticed.

We know times are tough for you in the congregation. It shows in your giving and we're not happy about it. Let's quit giving like Canadians and start giving like Americans, okay?


*If you live in the midwest. This does not include you people that choose to exist where housing is much more expensive like on the coast or in Minnesota.

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